


Closure

by WonderCassie



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 09:15:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13051029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WonderCassie/pseuds/WonderCassie
Summary: All Jongin wanted was coffee and his life back.





	Closure

“Happy Birthday, Yixing!” The lot of boys cheered. Among them was Kim Jongin which happened to be a very good friend of the birthday boy and a fellow teacher at the Gwangju Academy of Dance. Yixing was celebrating his 24th birthday with the entire team and though Jongin was more than happy for his pal, he was still tired from his dance class earlier in the day.

“How does it feel to be another year older?” Minseok laughed patting Yixing on the back.

“Ask me when I turn 30.” Yixing joked raising his beer can leaving everyone else to laugh. Jongin himself even let out a small chuckle despite his drowsiness. He was beginning to think that he should grab a drink just to wake him up a little bit however, he had to teach a class in the morning. If anything, Jongin needed a tall cup of coffee just to make it through Yixing’s birthday party. 

Lately, Jongin had felt like a zombie. For a 23-year-old, Jongin felt that he should have way more energy but for some reason life and work were taking everything out of him. Jongin used to love dancing every moment he could since he was a little boy but lately it has felt like he only danced just to make a quick paycheck. Jongin couldn’t quite find the reason why his motivation was decreasing; dancing new routines day after day yet the heart wasn’t there.

“We’re gonna need more ice soon.” Luhan announced holding up the almost empty ice bag in his hands.

“I’ll go to the corner store and pick up some more.” Jongin offered needing the fresh air. Soon he found himself walking casually to the store that wasn’t too far from Yixing’s place. He inhaled the night air in deep gulps starting to feel a little better already. What would have been a five minute walk was made into a ten minute one due to Jongin’s pace. He waltzed into to the store and went straight for the fridge of ice bags; however, he turned and found himself headed toward the coffee instead. Might as well get his coffee first instead of letting the ice melt outside the freezer, right?

Jongin opted for a cup of vanilla hazelnut flavored brew strictly left black with no cream. Jongin had always preferred his coffee black and despite everyone trying to get him to use cream to soften the bitterness, he preferred it that way. Jongin tended to be a very straightforward person with signature tastes. He liked everything to be firm and sharp, on point to the finest detail; perhaps that’s why he made such a great dance teacher.

Within his pocket, Jongin’s phone buzzed with a text from Minseok.

From: Minnie-hyung  
Sehun just showed up with ice, sorry man :/

Jongin typed a quick reply not the least bothered by the situation.

To: Minnie-hyung  
It’s okay, I’ll head back.

Jongin finished putting the lid on his coffee followed by the sleeve and took a deep breath. Now that he didn’t have to return with ice, he could take his own precious time returning to the party.

“Jongin?”

Jongin stopped drinking his coffee mid-sip instantly recognizing the soft voice that called his name. Though it was familiar, he was internally wishing that he was wrong about who it was. He was silently praying that when he turned around he would not be struck by the face of whom he thought he heard. Slowly Jongin set his coffee down and turned to the voice only to have his breath catch. It would seem that his prayer went unanswered as he was now face to face with his ex-boyfriend.

“Kyungsoo?” The name felt like a taboo slipping off Jongin’s tongue. Kyungsoo looked exactly if not better than he had when they had dated a year ago. Kyungsoo had retained that same milky skin, lips, and those large eyes that Jongin had adored to the ends of the earth.

“I almost didn’t recognize you with blonde hair.” Every word that slipped from those heart-shaped lips had Jongin on edge. It was those same lips that broke his heart all that time ago.

“Well…it’s me.” Jongin didn’t know what else to say. What should he say?

“What are you doing here?” Kyungsoo questioned Jongin fiddling with a can of RedBull in his small hands. Jongin couldn’t help but remember the times when he could so easily interlock their fingers together.

“I just needed some coffee.” Jongin gulped. “You?” He couldn’t get over the awkwardness of this whole encounter.

“I just stopped to get gas, and this.” Kyungsoo ushered to his car in the lot while holding up the can of RedBull. Jongin shook his head; he had always told Kyungsoo to lay off the energy drinks so much. He had stopped for a while but it had seemed that he had picked back up on the habit after the breakup. He wanted to tell Kyungsoo to put that drink down and get water instead but he didn’t want to hint to the smaller man that he still cared, even a little. He wanted to ignore that slight pain that Kyungsoo currently wore in his eyes.

“Well…I just wanted to say hi is all. You look good.” Kyungsoo smiled lightly and nodded.

“Thanks. You, too.”

“I’m gonna head out now. Good to see you.” Kyungsoo turned on his heel and Jongin thought he was finally free but he was struck once more when Kyungsoo uttered another set of final words.

“By the way, Jongin. It’s still the same…my phone number I mean.” And with that, Kyungsoo was out of the store. Jongin was left standing there dumbfounded by Kyungsoo’s words. Was he implying that he wanted Jongin to call him? Really? Jongin knew that that would be the only way for he himself had changed his number but a few days after the break-up.

“Do Kyungsoo.” Jongin heaved a sigh and went on his way.

>>>>>

Later that night, Jongin found himself lying in bed constantly thinking about his earlier encounter with Kyungsoo. He stared at the empty text box on the message screen of his phone. He hated that even though he deleted Kyungsoo’s number over a year ago, he still remembered it perfectly. Jongin hated himself for even contemplating the idea of contacting Kyungsoo.

‘How could you do this to me, Jongin?! I hate you! It’s over!’ Jongin clenched his eyes shut and clutched his heart as his mind swirled with Kyungsoo’s last words. Jongin had been accused of cheating on Kyungsoo which Jongin would have never even dreamt of doing. He loved Kyungsoo with every single ounce of his heart. He would’ve given anything and everything for Kyungsoo. That’s what Kyungsoo’s problem had been, he was always so easily persuaded and could never for once put all of his trust in Jongin. By the time Kyungsoo had found out the truth, it was too late, Jongin was long gone.

Jongin threw his phone on the bed beside him trying desperately to ignore the ache in his heart and the tingle in his fingers to grab the phone back. Jongin didn’t want to admit it; he hated feeling this way even after being broken up and not seeing Kyungsoo for over a year. He hated that the feelings he left dormant in his heart were coming out to rear their ugly heads. He could no longer hide the fact that even after all this time, he was still in love with Kyungsoo.

“Damn it all.” Jongin sighed closing his eyes and he really shouldn’t have. The moment his did, his mind filled with memories of the blissful relationship. All the times they laughed, cried, argued, made love…everything. He still remembered Kyungsoo’s favorite color, likes, dislikes which upset him. Jongin hopped out of bed went straight for the bathroom hoping to clear his mind with a cold shower. It worked for all of five minutes but when he returned to his bedroom he found his phone staring at him burning a hole in his mattress. Jongin couldn’t be strong for much longer.

“Screw it.” Jongin strided over to his bed to grab his phone and returned to the empty message screen. He had an iron grip so strong that he was scared his phone was going to break.

“Don’t do it, Jongin.” He whispered to himself but before he could stop he had already sent the message he so desperately wanted to take back.

To: 010949*****  
It’s me…

Jongin regretted it instantly flopping down on his bed before beginning to wallow in his mistake. It was nearly 11:00 p.m. and here Jongin was texting the ex-boyfriend he had so adamantly wanted to leave in the past. Not even a full minute had passed before he felt his phone buzz in his hand. Reluctantly, Jongin opened it and read the black letters.

From: 010949*****  
Jongin?

Jongin didn’t feel the need to dignify Kyungsoo with a response. Who else would it be then? Jongin took a deep breath and told himself to calm down. He was getting riled up for no real reason that he could fathom.

To: 010949*****  
Yeah

This time the response came almost instantaneously but not in text form. Jongin watch as the incoming call flashed across the screen. The internal debate on whether to answer was killing him. Should he? Shouldn’t he? Apparently, it took too long for him contemplate and the phone call had disappeared. Jongin hissed and let out a curse before pressing the call button. Apparently, Kyungsoo didn’t need as much time think as Jongin and picked up on the first ring.

“Hello?” Jongin hated the way his heartbeat raced hearing Kyungsoo’s voice over the receiver.

“Yeah.” Jongin was at a loss for words. He had no idea what to say.

“I’m…I’m happy you reached me…” Jongin wanted to throw the phone half-way across the room. He was not mentally or emotionally ready for whatever conversation was about to happen.

“Look, Kyungsoo, if this is about closure…” Jongin trailed. The two had split rather abruptly with no closure, perhaps not only did Kyungsoo need it but Jongin as well. Kyungsoo remained silent on the line all that was heard was his slight breathing.

“No, not at all, Jongin. I just…” Jongin waited. “To be honest, I miss you.” Jongin’s heart turned upside down listening to Kyungsoo’s words. “But that’s not why I was hoping you would call.”

“Then why were you hoping I would call?”

“I need to apologize to you, Jongin. I made a terrible mistake and for that I need to apologize to you.”

“You break up with me with false pretenses and all you can do is apologize over the phone?” Jongin was baffled by Kyungsoo and he could feel his blood beginning to boil.

“Jongin, that’s not-”

“You’ve got some nerve, Kyungsoo.”

“Jongin, please-”

“You’re only apologizing because you know you want to clear your guilty conscious, not because you’re really sorry to me! Maybe I was fine without you. Maybe I’ve moved on perfectly fine without your staged apology.” Jongin knew his words were cutting the smaller man but he couldn’t regret it. Jongin was hurt. His heart was in shambles.

“Jongin, please just listen-”

“I don’t want to listen to you. You didn’t listen to me when I told you the truth. So give me one good reason to listen to you now.” Jongin’s thumb went for the end call button and almost clicked off but he paused hearing Kyungsoo.

“Let me see you.”

“What?”

“Please, Jongin. Let me see you.” Jongin had a firm ‘no’ prepared on his lips but his heart beat him to it.

“Fine.”

>>>>>

Jongin still couldn’t believe he had told Kyungsoo the address to his home. Had he gone insane? He was now pacing around the living room still wearing his black pajamas waiting for Kyungsoo to arrive. He had absolutely no idea how the night would turn out but he had a feeling they would both end up in a worse fight than the day they broke up. Jongin was pulled out of his thoughts when three knocks rapped on his door. With a deep breath and a somewhat calm demeanor, Jongin opened to door only to have his resolve melt with one look into Kyungsoo’s large eyes.

“C-Come in.”

Jongin took a seat at the small dining room table while Kyungsoo stood awkwardly by the door.

“Well, sit.” Jongin spoke a bit harsher than he had intended. Nonetheless, Kyungsoo took the seat across from Jongin silently.

“I’m listening.” Jongin looked toward Kyungsoo with arms crossed. Kyungsoo himself was a mess on the inside seeing Jongin again for he knew just what he had lost. Kyungsoo had felt like complete and utter vile for the way he had ended things. Kyungsoo knew that Jongin had every right to be mad at him, he wouldn’t expect anything less. Kyungsoo was just happy that Jongin allowed him within five feet of his home.

“Jongin…”

“That’s me.”

“I’m so sorry, Jongin. I know that no matter what I say, you could never forgive me and I understand.”

“Then why are you here?” Jongin cut in sharply. “If you know that nothing you say will work, then why bother?”

“Because despite everything that happened, I still care about you. That alone is hard to me to admit but it’s true.”

“Yeah, well you should have cared about me before you tore my heart out of my chest.” Jongin stood up as if he was going to walk away but Kyungsoo wanted to be heard. He couldn’t let this opportunity go to waste when he knew just how much Jongin was tolerating him right now.

“Jongin, I was wrong, okay? I should have trusted you more. I shouldn’t have listened to what other people were saying without evidence! I’m sorry.”

“Well it’s a little late for that don’t you think? You let those people ruin us. You let those rumors ruin what we had!” Jongin glared at Kyungsoo with anger and a sadness that failed to go unnoticed by Kyungsoo. He wanted nothing more than to take Jongin into his arms but he knew his boundaries right now.

“Don’t you think I know that?! Why do you think I’m here apologizing for it?! I was stupid and foolish and whatever other name you want to call me. But damn it Jongin, here I am owning up to my mistakes!”

“Why?! I didn’t ask for this, Kyungsoo! Why couldn’t you just leave me alone?! Why did you have to pop back in my life after a year and ruin me all over again?! I didn’t want this…” A thin layer of tears was beginning to form not only on Jongin’s waterline but Kyungsoo’s as well.

“Because I’m still in love with you, Jongin.” Kyungsoo tears finally fell. “I couldn’t live with myself this past year knowing how much I must have hurt you.” Jongin’s heart was twisting in the most painful way possible. He was to do away with Kyungsoo’s tears just like he used to when they were still together. Jongin couldn’t even say anything courtesy of the lump in his throat.

“All those people that lied to me, I’ve completely cut them off because I allowed them to manipulate me. I allowed them to turn you into something that you were far from being.” Kyungsoo let the tears flow freely now. “I spoke rashly and ended things sooner than they should have and I hate myself for that. Even if by some miracle you do forgive in the slightest, I can never forgive myself for hurting you.”

“Why couldn’t you just trust me? If you loved me so much, why couldn’t you just step back and look at the whole situation instead of going based off what wasn’t proven?” Jongin was trying so hard to retain the tears in his ducts but was too close to failing.

“I…” Kyungsoo was at a loss for words. What’s worse is that Jongin knew slightly why Kyungsoo couldn’t trust him. Kyungsoo had trust issues with his parents ever since he was a small child for multiple reasons. Those trust issues had been transferred into both his friendships and his relationship. Jongin had been a fool that a nearly two decades of trust issues could be mended within a two year relationship period. Suddenly, Jongin felt bad himself. During their break-up argument, he had completely disregarded Kyungsoo’s past. Jongin’s tears finally fell while dwelling in his own mistake.

“Jongin, I don’t want to hurt you anymore. If it hurts you to see me, then I’ll leave. I’ll never contact you again and I’ll never show up in front of you. I just wanted you to know that I’m so sorry for everything I’ve caused and everything that I’ve put you through.” Jongin felt his heart ache at the thought of never seeing the shorter male again. The thought of never seeing those large eyes gaze up at him, those lips never forming another smile for him and those small hands never holding his. It killed him more than he’d like to admit seeing Kyungsoo in so much pain in front of him.

Without another word, Jongin closed the distance between him and Kyungsoo cupping his face between his hands. They stared at each other for an unaccounted time and the more Jongin looked into those large brown eyes, the harder his heart cracked into pieces and slowly rebuilt itself. He felt Kyungsoo’s tiny hands rest over his; they were as warm as he remembered.

“I hate it. I hate that I can’t love anyone but you.” Jongin stroked the tears out of Kyungsoo’s large eyes.

“Jongin…” That’s all it took for Jongin to crack and he pressed his lips against Kyungsoo’s like he never had. It was as if Jongin had been reborn again through Kyungsoo’s lips. Their arms wrapped tightly around each other as they were afraid the other would disappear. In that very moment, both of them felt it; their hearts beat at the same time. They both realized that there was no one else in the world made for them and that the past year had merely been a rigorous test.

“Kyungsoo…”

“Jongin…”

One minute they were arguing, then they kissing and now they found themselves lip-locked on Jongin’s bed shedding articles of clothing from each other’s bodies. They had missed being in each other’s arms where they knew they belonged.

“Oh, Jongin~” Kyungsoo moaned as Jongin’s lips latched onto his neck. Jongin needed Kyungsoo more than ever right now. He wanted everything that Kyungsoo had and Kyungsoo knew all too well that Jongin deserved it. Jongin’s skin was scalding hot against Kyungsoo’s and he loved every bit of it. 

After a long series of kisses, touches, and a bit of preparation Jongin was lining up his member with Kyungsoo’s opening. Kyungsoo had a firm grip on Jongin. He hadn’t been with any other man since Jongin. Kyungsoo hadn’t even had the thought of sleeping with any other man if it wasn’t Jongin.

Jongin, too, had been abstinent since the split from Kyungsoo. He had lost all motivation to go on dates or even try for that matter. He knew what he needed and he knew that Kyungsoo was the only one capable of giving Jongin everything he desired.

“Be gentle, please.” Kyungsoo panted.

“Of course, Soo~” Jongin smoothed Kyungsoo’s fringe away from his face but Kyungsoo was too caught up in the fact that Jongin had called him the pet name he had missed for so long.

Slowly, Jongin pushed inside of Kyungsoo letting him adjust little by little. Kyungsoo’s body was on fire from the penetration of the man he adored more than life. He pulled Jongin down for a passionate kiss as Jongin found a steady pace that would be comfortable for Kyungsoo.

“Oh, Jong~” Kyungsoo moaned burying his face in the nape of Jongin’s neck, his fingers clawing at Jongin’s back and tangling in his hair. “Ahh~” Jongin pushed deeper and picked up his pace only slightly. It had been a long time since Jongin had felt this good, this uplifted. He felt like he was making love to Kyungsoo on cloud nine itself.

“Jongin, please~ oh God…” Kyungsoo back arched with every mind-blowing thrust. Their foreheads were against each other’s as they stared deep into each other’s eyes. Jongin never thought he would be able to feel, hear, and see Kyungsoo quite like this ever again but he was more than happy he could right now.

“Jong, I’m close~ Please~” Kyungsoo begged for Jongin in the most wanton of ways. Kyungsoo conveyed through his eyes to Jongin that release wasn’t the only thing he needed right now. Kyungsoo was going to risk everything. Jongin sped up enough to draw orgasms from the both of them and with it a slew of words Jongin never thought he’d hear from or say to the smaller man.

“I love you~” The both groaned in unison as they both came hard followed by a whimper of each other’s names.

No other words were needed after that. Kyungsoo knew he had been forgiven and Jongin knew he would never lose Kyungsoo ever again.

>>>

That night, Jongin rediscovered the heart he thought he had previously lost and found his motivation to keep dancing like he hadn’t missed a beat. Jongin had gotten his life back.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
